Brought to you by the letter "Ff"

i think its time that i admit,
while i may  love every minute if it,
our time might be at an end
that maybe it best to not be more then friends,
i'm mean just friends,
no benefits
because
i was starting to believe you were heaven sent
and i can feel that way alone.

i'm also unsure if i am okay playing second fiddle on my own dates
and i know you said you don't want to date anyone,
that all you want is to have some fun.
with me.
thats okay,
just dont get mad when i don't call you for a few days
or look at you the same when i know he's had you today.
  don't complain that i'm not engaging enough,
as if i should share my intimacies with one not interested in learning my heart.
see with me lust is not connected to love,
so all that romantic shit get saved for someone
who can appreciate it
who is
open to being loved,
and even more returning it
openly 
see i can't agree
to be apart of the white girl wasted secret lesbian society
i dont see why you cant just embrace your queerness and admit you like some variety.
in your life.
no judgements
no shade
i'm just saying
i'm not about that life no more.
i been busted through my closet door,
and stepped into my truth.
i am living proof
that no one cares if you don't
so stop saying you will when you won't.
don't oblige me in fantasy
if the minute you're alone with me, its no longer comfortable to be holding my hand in city streets,
or cuddle up next to me
or.kiss me goodbye
this poem is not about hetero-normalcy
its about you and I
and all the reasons
i can no longer be your secret
adventure
thrill ride
good time,
anything more then a one night
hittter quitter
see you later sister
catch you on the flip side
or pehaps next lifetime
when you know what you want
and are ready for it
when you can express your sexuality and not feel shameful.for it
when i can be someone you adore
when you're ok being my cherie amour
and we don't have to hide.
until then,
only hit me for a good time,
a one night.
a forhead kiss
and "see you next time"

Love & Light,

C. Joi Sanchez
www.jsanschez.wordpress com