Written With Unexpressed Anger (Don't take it personal)

This is not what i wanted for our son

to see his mother withering & bruised at the hands of her love

Watching in wonder the destructive fury of our ignorance

unconsciously absorbing the cycle of violence into his internal systems

I wondered briefly if I will have created a monster

The type of man who hauls off on his woman

cause she said some sh*t he didn't like

a man like his father

This is not what I wanted for our daughter

for her to see her mother

as a victim

not even 5 months old

she laid with eyes wide open

crying the tears I refused to shed

for knowing better,

for feeling responsible, 

for allowing it to happen

for all the bullsh*t reasons you gave yourself to justify the wrong

I could not shed a tear

but she did.

This isn't what i wanted for you

the man I risked it all on was aware of the fragile heart he was given

held together with a patchwork of promises and pretty words

until there were none..

so yeah, I'll always pick a female over you,

Since that day I have chosen

and will continue 

to choose me

every single time.

because this isn't what I wanted but this is all i got.