'Jalah'

i feel unworthy of your glance
because
hope springs eternal from your smile
its like when sunrise meets baby's laughter
an intoxicating innocence
getting me lost in the chapter & verse of your testimony
anytime you speak.
its real
i heal a little more
listening to a
transformative wordsmith living in your truth inspires
sometimes
i like to daydream in the belief that had we met sooner
we wouldn't be a disaster waiting to happen  
and
i wouldn't be the next person to break your heart
even if you grant me redemption
i'm still a symphony of catastrophe
and you
a nubian queen too good for the likes of me
a life lived dangerously
perhaps you like to flirt with death and destiny
walk tightropes of propriety till proven right
that there is no wrong way to live.

against better senses i dare steal a kiss
in back yards illuminated by envious stars
i inhale your light
as if a human defribulator
jumpstarting my heart back in to a now-now time signature
with the future as a possibility
the present a security
and the past
a distant memory.

  
  
th
never do i wish to

Love & Light,

C. Joi Sanchez
www.jsanschez.wordpress com

<3 & Art,

J§
www.artlovesher.wordpress.com
www.jsanssayz.blogspot.com

'ashley'

i still have your bracelet
i wear it on my wrist with prayer beads
praying one day soon i'll forget these
feelings i had for you that now cause flames to consume me anytime i see your face
its not the loss if the possibility of love that angers me
its that i began to let go of the hurt i hold
reminders of what love shouldn't be
just to be given more of the same
i feel as if i'm just the last in the long line of suckas
who have fallen victim to your game
and i know i'm smarter then this. writing angry love poems until you don't exist seems like the only way to remove you from my memory
because eventhough i deleted the pictures you took for me
those images gone but emblazened in my psyche
the memory of you in sun kissed onyx skin
you shined like the moon unaware it was meant to set
and now
whenever my eyes meet darkness  i still dream of you
still dream that you care,
delicate hands stroking my tears as i shared myself with you.
so yeah 
i think you're evil
until i figure out how to stop wanting to love you.

Love & Light,

C. Joi Sanchez
www.jsanschez.wordpress com

Queen's Gambit

for the honor of this pleasure
I absolve myself the necessity.of reciprocity
my only goal is to engulf you
mind, body, and soul
all my time would be about you
learning what and how you like it
give it to you till you love it
till you dope lean like an addict
and then some more
simce there's no need for me to rush
i let my imaginatiom relish in the details
beginning with your mind
i'd whisper revisions of Pablo Naruda lines
talkin' bout
i wanna do with you what
nature does to cherry trees in the spring time
nourish your roots and
bring you to blossom
i think its awesome
how you let me take control
it cool if  you need to take a moment
breathe
and let go
of any expectations
while you're at it
be sure to clear your schedule
i'm an all nighter
so this may take some time
like poetry flows without rhymes
you may get a little lost
or exhausted.
and i won't lie
i want your body
every last drop
i want to drink you in like
a bottle of well aged kiante
slowly inhale the aroma
of your honey suckle skin
take small sips of your essence
from clavical to navel and back again
while swirling your nipples playfully
i'd caress the stresses from your back
so you know that you're safe to be free with me
i need you to be fully relaxed for the optimum pleasure possible
i'm not quite sure its possible to mentally prepare someone
as lovely as you for what is yet to come.
but i will try moving on
once your stress is gone
letting my hand glide down past ass & thighs to knees
i am a blind woman
using the goosebumps as a manual
on your body to read
exactly how to please you
they tell my mouth to proceed down your torso
the only decision to to make
is whether to lick a path of love poems in invisible ink
unseen to the eye
forever etch on your soul
of if you'd prefer to be bitten
a trail of evidence for the world to know
you've found your golden ticket
this isnt a decision that pick
and so I
ocxupy the wait time exploring the curvature of thighs and clalfs
build your anticipation higher then the peaks of Mt. Everest
until you beg for it
make you scream for it
grab hold of my head and
serve yourself up to me
a dish of royalty
i gladly bow my head to the queen
place a kiss of passion
long and deep
a whore in church
i remain on my knees
paying homage, asking for entry
call me alice
lost in a wonderland,
you the lock
my tongue the key
giggling, stirring
shaking
until i unlock your mystery.

;-) i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. <3

<3 & Art,

J§
www.artlovesher.wordpress.com
www.jsanssayz.blogspot.com

'julio'

i admit
i'm not here
non-compliant with life
i'm stuck on the memory of a love meant to last a lifetime
i play pretend in reality
acting as if everything is just fine
but really i'm losing my mind
on a slow drift to insanity

i have empty affairs to fill the void you left
pretty faces that don't mean much to me
i build them promises of sand castles
as they
bask in my hollow embrace
i sometimes see you staring back in their faces
of momentary love
the next day its always the same
washing them away with the soap on the same brown skin you once laid kisses
reminiscing,
i watch them fade through the drain with the hope i can love again
the same way i once loved you.

Love & Light,

C. Joi Sanchez
www.jsanschez.wordpress com

Brought to you by the letter "Ff"

i think its time that i admit,
while i may  love every minute if it,
our time might be at an end
that maybe it best to not be more then friends,
i'm mean just friends,
no benefits
because
i was starting to believe you were heaven sent
and i can feel that way alone.

i'm also unsure if i am okay playing second fiddle on my own dates
and i know you said you don't want to date anyone,
that all you want is to have some fun.
with me.
thats okay,
just dont get mad when i don't call you for a few days
or look at you the same when i know he's had you today.
  don't complain that i'm not engaging enough,
as if i should share my intimacies with one not interested in learning my heart.
see with me lust is not connected to love,
so all that romantic shit get saved for someone
who can appreciate it
who is
open to being loved,
and even more returning it
openly 
see i can't agree
to be apart of the white girl wasted secret lesbian society
i dont see why you cant just embrace your queerness and admit you like some variety.
in your life.
no judgements
no shade
i'm just saying
i'm not about that life no more.
i been busted through my closet door,
and stepped into my truth.
i am living proof
that no one cares if you don't
so stop saying you will when you won't.
don't oblige me in fantasy
if the minute you're alone with me, its no longer comfortable to be holding my hand in city streets,
or cuddle up next to me
or.kiss me goodbye
this poem is not about hetero-normalcy
its about you and I
and all the reasons
i can no longer be your secret
adventure
thrill ride
good time,
anything more then a one night
hittter quitter
see you later sister
catch you on the flip side
or pehaps next lifetime
when you know what you want
and are ready for it
when you can express your sexuality and not feel shameful.for it
when i can be someone you adore
when you're ok being my cherie amour
and we don't have to hide.
until then,
only hit me for a good time,
a one night.
a forhead kiss
and "see you next time"

Love & Light,

C. Joi Sanchez
www.jsanschez.wordpress com

For Niya (@4)

This poem is for my daughter
She doesn't know it yet
But one day she will need it.
Because she will need me and i won't be there
Her questions will demand answers
but will find only silence
i see it growing
The silence between us
Like the distance and time apart
It grows
And so i wrote this this poem  for my daughter
Because one day she will need it
And
She doesn't know it yet
But one day someone will break her heart into a million pieces
And she will want to wonder why in the space of my arms
And she will will have tears when i tell her that there are no aswers to her questions
That this sometimes happens when you let yourself fall in love
She can find peace in the pieces she is in and save herself
But She won't believe me
and so i wrote this poem is for my daughter
She doesn't know it yet
But one day she will need it.
Because she will need me
and i won't be there to greet her like the sun
Daily
Because she looks for me
Sometimes cries herself to sleep questioning why momny would leave.
And she will have tears when i tell her she is the answer
Because mommy wanted to be better for her daughter
Because a brown girl raised in abusive atmospheres believe themselves unworthy .
And i can't teach her to be invaluable by selling myself short
I wrote this poem for her to know how much she is valued
And cherished
And loved
And deserves the best of everything
And she and poetry are synonymous as the best of me so
This poem is for my daughter
She doesn't know it yet
But one day she will need it.
Because she will need me
and i won't be there
But my memory & especience will
Forever in these words
This poem is here for when she has words for me
When she rebels
spewing words of anger anchored in truth
When she starts keeping secrets, sneaking out,
repeating history
This poem will take will make her question herself
It will laugh at her answers and teach her that none of us really know what we're doing
That we all do our best everyday for those we love
And she will know she is
/was/
will be loved no matter what.
Which is why
I write this poem for my daughter
Because she will need it
She doesn't know it yet
But she will need me
and i will be here
Forever
In word.

Love & Light,

C. Joi Sanchez
www.jsanssayz.blogspot.com

No Shade

**You ever just need to vent about things you see and hear in the world? Yeah this is that moment in rhyme when I needed to get shit off my chest. If you are tagged please drop your opinions/feedback/etc below. Enjoy!**


this poem is for those that
think i don't see your true colors showing
understand within my quiet is a knowing
that it won't be long before you take yourself away from me.


there are many ways to make art
yours in not synonymous with success
just because it works for you
doesn't mean your way is best

while others can do what you can do
we don't all operate the same
much like how we don't all have the same name
or play by the same rules in this game

we all make it in our own ways
what matters at the end of the day
is who was there to support when the time came
whether you stood by me through the sunshine and the rain

did you do more then offer up more of the same
shouting your disbelief from my corner
patting my back with hands that bury me in public
forgetting we're all out here because we love it

i work harder then most will ever know
spread praise on all that came before me
extend an open hand as to not waste any opportunity
keep my faith to myself, so opinions of others will not ruin me.

will not discourage me from continuing
walking where HIS sight has led me
sharing the food that She has given me
until my dying breathe, i will see us form community

while you continue to compete
defeat your purpose with your unconscious duplicity
think i'll be nothing without your support of me
i have the support of creation, all Its magnificence is working through me

so please do me, and you a favor
before you  call me trash
offer up some advice or a helping hand
& then decide where it is you stand