1st position

Having never taken a ballet class in her life,
this girl was inspired to write,
not to move,
(a choice proven more suitable for a such a fiery & fierce soul, the voices nearly drove her crazy) though she keeps a steady pace in her race against time & circumstance
Had she only been given the chance
she could've be been a beautiful dancer.
Could've grown up to be a prima ballerina,
clothed in the full facade.
Jet black hair straightened into tight chinion,
glowing skin reminiscent of the recently polished
mahogany piano that plays just for her.
Every note written to highlight her perfect posture &  form,
as practiced as her smile .
She dreams to be
the first
black girl in her hood to do something,
anything!
Other then grow up to be a statistic.
But She never listened
when grand mother would say to stand up strait,
because a lady doesn't walk that way.
She imagines what grandmother would say
if she could see her sweet dumplin now.
Would she be proud of how baby turned out?
Or would she be struck with shock at how madness abounds
How chaos rules her life with a wit sharper then Oya's blades.
How she nourishes herself on anxieties and rage.
Living every moment as it is her last,
because she cast a spell of death on this page.
In history
She is not even mentioned,
not remotely detected in a  retrospective,
Another black girl lost
In her thoughts
she wonders
If grand mother would be proud. If she could see her now.
Would it be a shock to find her puddin'/dumplin'/ funny valentine was a lesbian?
Would she question from whence it began? 
Would she know it was her love that made it possible
for baby girl to understand it was possible to be loved unconditionally?
The possible prima ballerina wonders...
woulds she?
Still love me?
Would christian hearted,
god fearing,
bible toting/quoting
grand mother still love me?
When i am nothing of what i promised to be...

J§
www.sanschez.wordpress.com
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