Joi "JSansChez" Sanchez invites you to Art Love(h)er Poetic Mic Series (Repeating Event)

Hello, You are invited to the following event: Art Love(h)er Poetic Mic Series Event to be held at the following time, date, and location: Multiple Dates Plugs Media Lounge 901 Atlantic Ave New York, NY 11238 View Map Attend Event Share this event: "Art is a gift that needs to be shared" -Anonymous   Here it is folks, the forum you've been burning & yearning for!! Art Lov(h)er Poetic Series is a collaboration between Plugs Media Lounge and JeSansChez to bring artists of all genres together.... Read More Share this event on Facebook and Twitter We hope you can make it! Cheers, Joi "JSansChez" Sanchez

This invitation was sent to cjoisanchez.piratebooty@blogger.com by Joi "JSansChez" Sanchez the organizer. To stop receiving invitations from this organizer, you can unsubscribe.
Eventbrite | 651 Brannan St. Suite 110 | San Francisco, CA 94107

Tears of regret

Children are a blessing.
I'm grateful to have two.
Healthy
Smart
Beautiful
One boy
One girl
All sunshine

But to a broken heart
Children are a curse of unending torment
A constant reminder that we
Were once loved
So much
The universe granted permission for us to create them.
Leaving no love that can ever compare

J§

Vol 4

Vol 4

This is a womanifesta
Because sex is not a linear equation it is hyperbolae of divine creation
A multidimensional, extremely flexible, playground for pleasure seeking junkies needing a fix
My body is not a paint by numbers coloring book, it is abstract impressionist perfect imperfection on canvass that can only be felt by the soul
So close your eyes, pretend you are blind and read me as if my skin was a parchment of braille
There is no one size fits all blue print to an orgasm
Sultry silky Stimulation accessible from head to toes
Women contain more than two erogenous zones
you don't need to visit them all, just know that it's okay to take different routes every time
More importantly, it's okay to take your time
Explore the curves in the road to ecstasy
Don't race me there
Cause truthfully I could leave you stranded and standing at attention
Wouldnt you rather be straddled or tied up in loves affection?
Cause This womanifesta
Is a reminder
That physical love is to be enjoyed
Our bodies are to be cherished, appreciated, praised with tongues, hands, mouths, biting, passion, licking, spankings, toys (oh toys), eyes, asses an anything else you can think of that will get the job done
It's not always necessary to orgasm as long as I cum and at the end of it all we had some fun
Whether its just me and you or us and everyone




Sorry bout typos..: love & light
Www.Jsanschez.wordpress.com

Ironic

Ironic

I can't stop laughing at the irony
That both she & he are leos
Lion & lioness
With almost a decade between them
Yet residing in the same sexual/emotional states
And me
Gemini In Saturn
in-between
Them





Sorry bout typos..: love & light
Www.Jsanschez.wordpress.com

This is a womanifesta

This is a womanifesta
Because co-operation does not equal consent
And it's time we recognize the difference
possession is 9/10s of the law and as long as this body is mine I will do,
dress,
and fuck
as I please.
I have the right to say no
and be heard
I have the right to love who I want,
the way that I want
as long as it's not hurting anybody
My sexual orientation is not
To be an indication that I need to be "taught a lesson"or "converted back"
Because
I'm not confused
I know what love looks like
And when I see it,
Or someone deserving of it
I extend my heart without hesitation
I Take precaution
Use some common sense so
Please
Do me a favor & Put your dick back in your pants
until further notice
Regard this as your marching orders
From the women tired of being hypersexualized on screen, in music & real life
They try to hide the trespass as building an image for us to look up to
Instead leading us down a path that's empty & hollow
Using reality tv for brainwashing society
Keeping women complacent
whether the product is a Nikki Minaj
or a suzie homemaker
She is nothing more then a wanna be
carbon copy
eager to please,
slow to anger,
unconditionally accepting, doormat
It Keeps my nerves racked
on edge
Because children don't know the difference
between real life & the fantasy
And apparently
Neither do some political officials
For all their bells and whistles
the fact remains that we still teach women not to get raped
Instead of teaching men not to do it
They'll make any excuse to blame the victim
Tell us that they are responsible for the inability of another to respect our boundaries
That if you are too nice,
dressed too provocatively,
accept a drink,
flirt/smile
Enter a conversation
then he
Can take it as a sign that
it is on
Where I stand,
this shit has gone on too long
I will not be embracing of philosophies that tell my daughter if it happens
it's her fault.
And even more
She will have to live with the seed of his sin
A daily reminder of horrors in a face of innocence
There is no worse form of torture to engage in
This womanifesta is a rallying cry
A call to arms for all warrior
Womyn
to stand our ground
Respond to the declaration of war on our bodies & minds
In this country and worldwide
If we band together,
we can Change the tide
Show our foremothers that their fight for our rights
Was not a waste of time.







Sorry bout typos..: love & light
Www.Jsanschez.wordpress.com

missed me?

You said you missed me

so when you kiss me

I want to feel it

want you to melt so deep  into me

we become a double helix

a tornado of passion

lets do some damage

make the neighbors feel it

so i know without a doubt

i'm the one you want to be with

even if i'm not the only one

and this is just for fun

baby just let me believe it

that you missed me

so when you kiss me 

close your eyes

look at  me with your soul's sight

hold me close and tight

like its prom night

and dancing cheek to cheek 

is the only thing less bittersweet

then parting before sunrise

so next time you kiss me, 

do it like you missed me

not as if wishing

your lips could be believed. 

Womanifesta

Recently I had the pleasure and privilege to be the stage manager for a show called Vivesection by  the Re-writes of Passage Ensemble. It was a stunning, moving, and at times comic look at how women, particularly black women, are dissected, stereotyped, and scrutinized in out society every day. The show closed with powerful statements from each of the 5 women performing in the show. Each claiming their power through a "womanifesta". So inspired by them, I began writing a womanifesta of my own.

 

I feel as if this will be the first of  a series of womanifestas that I will be writing. In this last year of my 20's I am coming to the conclusion that a big part of my life's path is to do something to enlighten & empower the next generation of women coming up. Despite a lack of formal education, I recognize that I have wisdom and experiences to offer. I know too well how much of a difference a positive voice can make. So I hope this poem (and essentially the series) will be a stepping stone in that direction.. Beginning at home with my own daughter, whom I often write for and/or about and spreading like wildfire.

 

I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading (and/or sharing)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

This is a womanifesta 

 

because I am more then the sum of my parts

because some of my parts cause malfunctions to the thinking process

and others don't process respect  as a right I was born with

when the temperature reaches 75 or higher

any exposed flesh on city streets

increases the catcalls of desire

As if they never had a mother, sister, aunt, or daughter

because  a Full sized real live grown woman wasn't made to contort to fit into catagories.

I crush the.boxes and check society every chance I get 

too few and far between is courtesy contagious 

and I...

 I am fed up, angry/agitated/ aggravated

because I don't eat enough to fuel the rational thought required to respond to ignorance and bigotry

I am not worthless because of your opinion of me

i am not a real housewife nor will i ever be

i am a sophisticated, intelligent, ambitious female, 

something like a lady

only more driven & determined to accomplish my dreams

no matter what the costs may be

i walk the line of self-destruction

some  say i'm uncivilized

cause i don't love like Lucy

won't leave shit to beaver

I'm ever empowered and eager

to take care of it on my own

I'm not the damsel in distress

i don't need to be saved

so leave me the fuck alone

stop yelling at me from a distance

or telling my back how beautiful it is

man up & talk to my face

that is/if you can find it

if you want to speak to me

i'm not addressing all men just these assholes in society

like evangelical republicans insisting on propriety

NEWSFLASH!!! WE LIVE IN A DEMOCRACY!!!!

I have bigger concerns then whether our head of state is a citizen

like the state of the city i reside in

but I digress

I don't make my ass clap for

these dollars I work harder then the pole you wish I'd straddle

Buckle up its gonna be a bumpy ride

if you think i'm angry now

honey you ain't seen nothing yet.

The wrath if a woman scorned aint got shit

on a woman torn/shredded to pieces by mixed media signals, stereotypes & cultural expctations.

heir apparent to a living legacy of food paranoia  &, excessive exercise,

just to go down a size

because invisible is the new black.

 

This is a fury of 29 year gestation

learning to conquer glass ceilings and fear

makes for an easy birth to confidence. 

Like breathing

I gladly strut my curvature on city streets,

bouncing my booty to my ipods beat,

proving true that the most awesome women have curves & tattoos!

We write our stories in symbol & song verse

, regurgitating our hurt for the broken hearted girls to learn from.

Letting  them know how amazing it feels to be your own shero,

that your worth cannot be weighed by the width of your waist or your weight.

and if you just wait

i promise it gets better

so drop the measuring tape,

eat that 3rd slice of pizza,

 erase the rules & write in your own.

Above all that the hold your head high

and be bold

be you

hold tight to your truth

become the most interesting person you've ever met

because the herstory you leave behind is important

and its waiting to be read.

 

 

-Love & Light

JSansChez

There, their, they're...

Its a beautiful thing,
black love
Because they're love
They connected their souls
The god body within,
created perfection
in the image of their love.
Yet in the eyes of their love
there was/is pain,
there are/were regrets,
there were/are obstacles,
and theirs is full of trials,
to their triumphs,
there were times of joys,
Days where their elaborate patterns of speech and dance,
Had them lost in the turns, tricks & dips
of their loves dance
there was a seduction,
in their love
there was/is a solace,
a peace
an at home feeling in their love cause
there love is home
even in their divided homes,
there is celebration,
there is gratitude,
there is a shoulder to lean on,
until there isn't a leg to stand on and
All that comes out is the anger
in their words ,
there is fury.
And sometimes there are blows,
to pride,
to hearts,
to egos
To mines
and to faces
from hands that once held that face to their face and softly whispered "I love you"
and they did,
even when they loved rough,
Their love was intense
cause their love is/was/is tough,
to be in
When there comes a point
where their love is not enough
or
their love becomes just too much
for their love to handle.
-j sans chez
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Writers Block

i used to be afraid to write

in fear you would read my thoughts 

demanding explanation 

seeking answers to questions i can't answer anymore

but i realized that 

following that fear only paralyses my talents

constricts my need for expression 

punches holes in my soul 

and i refuse to be that helpless

at your hands,

never again

so keep on reading

love me till you hate me until you love me again

remain my loyal, standing ovation, number 1 fan

even if there is only one of you

my potential exceeds your demands

and

until you hold lit candles in your hands

in my remembrance

i will... nay i must 

dance as if no one is looking

sing as if you can't hear my off pitch tendencies

and write whatever the f*ck is inside of me

until my dying day.

-peace-

Dreams in Vanilla Skies

I used to want to be a white girl
On my knees at night,
praying for god to make my skin match my mom's high yellow complection
at the very least,
I was tired of being the familys black sheep,
something like a beast by crushes/in the school yard
girls making fun of me,
confused as to how and why my ass was so stuck out.
I once sang whitney houston's I will always love you to a boy I liked,
and despite
the silky smooth melodic tones relaying my affection,
he wouuldn't even glance in my direction,
it was then
That I decided at 10,
I needed to be a white girl.
So I too could be like the california dream girl next door,
not the oreo kunta kente in a mask with skin of mahogany or ebony
depending on the month.
subjected myself to torturous tactics overcoming curly-kinky hair transitions to smoothed out mane.
Spend the day shaking it like Beyonce
it didn't help to be well educated when no one listened to you speak,
muffling your presence with their snickers & laughter,
back then it was approval I was after, because no one ever told me I was beautiful.
dads foot had been on the gas since age 2,
and mama taught me to become a lady i'd have to straighten up and walk right.
But when you're a kid and don't know what you did wrong
its hard to hold your head up high.
Except to look towards the sky and ask god why
he didn't make me a white girl.
With perfect hair thats down to there, that doesn't snap a combs teeth.
why my waist.is a size 2 but hips are a size 6.
Why I am the fantasy but not the.reality of my love interests.
Why was i cursed like this?
It would take 8 years,
6 lovers,
4 years of sports &
2 eating
disorders
To find the answer in the arms of a love that reflected my insecurities as perfection
assured me that there is nothing wrong with a curve to your backside,
A sway to your hips,
kink in your hair
and plump to your lips.
And I been in love with my body ever since
Needless to say
I no longer pray to be a white.girl Because.when I  think about.it, having it naturally is better than becomming a science experiment.

Love & Light,
Joi Sanchez
visual & performance artist
www.jsanschez.wordpress.com

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others" by Marianne Williamson.

allowances

Dear Mr. & Mrs. white America

you're gonna half to make an exception

in case you haven't noticed

i'm black

yes 

despite the well groomed exterior

and articulation of intelligent thought

this young woman

is black

and proud

and loud about it

because if i don't scream it from the roof tops every chance i get

you may just forget 

and try to tuck me away in a cubicle somewhere

giving a hard time to the "other darkies"

the ones "not like me"

you know the pants sagging, baby-mama havin',  always bragging they have some new new new sh*t, can't hold down a job, no more than a case number ni**as

the ones  you say i'm nothing like

but are ready to group me with because my afro draws more attention them my a** in a well tailored pants suit. 

so excuse me from the group

i get a pass

I am allowed to be angry

because being black comes with that privledge/right?

cause the world has done us so wrong for so long

and its been too long since we stood strong

and stood our ground

but when we do we get shot down

no ribbons in the skies for our loves or lives

just another sunset into sunrise

so it should be no surprise 

when the sh*t hits the fan

cause the revolution will NOT be televised

and it's already began.

-peace-

Written With Unexpressed Anger (Don't take it personal)

This is not what i wanted for our son

to see his mother withering & bruised at the hands of her love

Watching in wonder the destructive fury of our ignorance

unconsciously absorbing the cycle of violence into his internal systems

I wondered briefly if I will have created a monster

The type of man who hauls off on his woman

cause she said some sh*t he didn't like

a man like his father

This is not what I wanted for our daughter

for her to see her mother

as a victim

not even 5 months old

she laid with eyes wide open

crying the tears I refused to shed

for knowing better,

for feeling responsible, 

for allowing it to happen

for all the bullsh*t reasons you gave yourself to justify the wrong

I could not shed a tear

but she did.

This isn't what i wanted for you

the man I risked it all on was aware of the fragile heart he was given

held together with a patchwork of promises and pretty words

until there were none..

so yeah, I'll always pick a female over you,

Since that day I have chosen

and will continue 

to choose me

every single time.

because this isn't what I wanted but this is all i got.

 

Happy Mother's Day (from the married lesbian in the room)

I can officially say happy mother's day to every woman i know, myself, and my ancestors. this weekend has been the best mother' s day of my existence so far.
last night i spent the evening back in wow for the first time in 3 months. staffing & photographing a burlesque women who run with wolves by brown girls burlesque. sitting in a virtual sexy stew of drunken queer girls. being welcomed back with open arms and genuine love. afterwards, conversations with a goddess. thankfully my battery carried me home, music drowning out the jackals lurking in harlem shadows, cat calling from a far. alone, worked up, and  without mechanics; i masturbated for real for the first time in ever. i let go of myself with myself and was blown away at the results. if i can make myself feel that sexually, i can't wait to see what i can do in every other aspect of my life if i let myself go. unlatch the picket fence between propriety and reality and just live. do nothing more than breath and be. last night was like when you close your eyes and twirl in the afternoon sun on a spring day. perfect bliss. laying in a gaggle giggling at  the foolishness of the task, simultaneously relishing the joy. who wouldn't want to live a feeling like that everyday? i know i do.
tonight, i watched the same show in a new light. a different energy. joined by my husband,  after the performance of my best friend. her husband also watching. i staffed but wasn't needed, so we went to a late dinner at dojo. one of the last surviving throwback dive(ish) restaurant/bars down by nyu. it was the first double date of my life that i can remember since high school. and maybe not even then, the point is that i had a great time. for hours we sat and talked, and laughed until we cried. shared points of view. talked politics. took some pictures and laughed some more. my husband walked me back to my place, i'll call it home because its one of the few places i've ever felt secure. safe. anyway my knight, held my hand to the door. we stood in the nights amber glow and kissed forever. in a way that made me never want to let go yet not go any further than the innocence of the kiss.
i don't know what tomorrow holds but i have a plan to loosely stick to that will not change. i'm spending the day with my kids, mainly my son. he needs me like i need him. we need each other to remember how much we love each other. even if it means we sit and cry together, like we did this afternoon. maybe it means teaching him how to use (and not damage) my new canon rebel digital beast of a camera. maybe it means running and giggling with his little sister. whatever it is,  i'm giving my day to him tomorrow. he"ll get all of me how ever he wants to do whatever he wants. no make up, no fancy shirts, no (well close to no) phone.

this has been the best mother's day ever because this weekend showed me exactly how my life could be. complete. accepting of my male & female energy. without conflict once there are no longer lies & distortions. when you live your truth , you love it and it loves you back. ashe.

Venus

I don't know what it is but
I can't put it down
Within the word written
I feel a connection,
to something bigger than us
Divine inspiration
Perhaps we were muses in a past life
Or nymph
I feel universes within you
There's more to this book than just the cover
I want to
Read on

Caught Up in Love's Game

She speaks of love as if it is a game,
something to be played
kept boxed up on a shelf,
after the players have gone away
far away from wanting hearts and wavering minds
like closeness is irrelevent in the development of
something more than physical
i hate her
hate her eyes
the way they stare like lasers burning holes into me
hate that when i look into them,
i let her soul lock onto mine
and carry me away like leave in the fall breeze
My mind becomes a porch
swept clean of previous clutter, empty like her heart
just peace and tranquility fills the space just previously occupied by my love
i hate that when her fragile arms cluch me in their embrace i feel secure in this crazy world
suddenly assured that the woman i am today
is the woman she'll love forever
i hate her smooth melodic voice bringing
deliciously harsh kicks to my pride.
knocking my ego down to just the right size
the nook right below her head
leaving me tall enough to be her stoic empress
yet short enough to snuggle the nape of her neck
where i can inhale her sweet essence
i hate that smell
the one that emenates from her
resonates in me like pine trees on christmas
this scent intoxicates my being and i am filled with love
losing all reason
forgetting that i hate her mind
and her super powers
like her ability to convince me to be my better self with her & for her
and how she pushes me foreward
by keeping me from looking back
I hate the caress of her chocolate skin and full juicy lips
quenching the thirst of which i was unaware i even had.

Sweet Temptation

So I'm sorry that the heat is too intense for me to take
I feel it deep down
Makes my belly ache
Makes me wanna take
Advantage of the moment
Not you
There are so many things I'd like to do
With and for you
But right now Georgi is coursing thru my veins
And the reins I need to take hold of
Keep slipping

Yes sir

Yes maam
I am smitten
Its your britches I'd like to get in
As a favor to you
Want to taste your flavor and savor
Every moment of you

You're all I can taste when I lick my lips

So I imagine the reality
Of what it could be
If only you would let me
In

The Scribe

I have no more than these words to give
By no other means shall I live
For
I am a writer
A scribe of the inspired
Speaker of my truth for the seekers of the root
I write instead of run
Because the breath that fills my lungs never lasted longer than the ink on my paper
I write as prayer
To show gratitude for the gifts I've been given
As sacrifice
I bare my soul on parchment
I spread open my chest on stage
For I am not the architect just a conduit of my ancestry's hopes
I hope I live up to the expectation
I used to try to write inspirational intellectual culturally aware pieces
Things that would uplift & educate
Till I was left to hold the weight
I then decided, maybe I should wait
Let inspiration have its way with me
before committing to more than
just my dreams

Searching For The Light

i often feel the tug of ancestral spirits calling me home to where i am safe
calling me
calling me
calling my name
they say come home again
woman love yourself

i sometimes feel the urge to sell everything i own
move to countries comprised of villages & villas
set against beach & mountains
sing the sirens sea call
and lay forever in that moment
if i could lay forever
if only i could lay forever
in that moment

i would

i would pack up my bag full of guilt, hate, frustrations,
throw my madness into the oceans abyss
say goodbye to all of it
just say goodbye to all of it
just say goodbye

Woman

And what about when I just want to be a woman?
With nothing proceeding or following but success?
Because I always do my best
To be a black woman,
Knowledgeable, Proud and strong,
To be a queer woman,
Loud & proud,
To be wife woman,
Accountable, Faithful. & supportive,
To be a mother woman,
Nurturing & compassionate,
To be a sister, a daughter, a lover,
A hard -working, I can do it all
super woman
But what about when can i
Just be a woman?
I live for those moments
Relish in the luxury of letting my hair & guard down
Wrap myself in the freedom of it
Surrender my soul to the serenity of silence
My mind & spirit sing a melodic cacophony in celebration of that moment
That random,
rare moment
I stand bare
Naked
Not wanting
I am nothing more
Nothing less
Than a woman
Simply
Lovely
Loved
Woman

Fools in Love's Game

Foolishly
She sits in wait
For time to pass
For scenes to change
For leaves to grow
For spring to come
For her heart to bloom
She sits in wait
Foolishly
SHe turns the hands of time
SHe changes the channel
SHe trims the trees and pulls the weeds
Waiting for spring to come
SHe works endlessly
Foolishly
For fools in love never tire of their game
She waits
SHe works
They laugh
They love
Foolishly
They love
-End-

Little King Letters (revised)

Dearest son
My First born
My little king
I crowned you in the womb
I remember sitting up long nights while you kicked at my ribs and tickled my heart
Now 4 years later you stand half my height
And I'm shocked
At how fast you've grown
At how much you know
At How fast you go
And at How fast you came
At first I wasn't ready for you ,
 I am ready now
to share everything I know with you
 I must pace myself
For all I have is my heart
& these words for you
I know my love may overwhelm you at this young age
Because
All you want to do is play
And I want you to play
But I want to hold you in my arms the way I hold you in my heart
Forever
Forever and a day
And its a school night
Damn
You're in school
Education
The first step,
a small stone to the man you will one day be
And by hook or by crook
you will be a man
You will not be a grown boy
walking around these streets
jobless
pants sagging,
empty pockets,
empty mind,
yet full of hubris..
Not my son
forever hold your head high,
You are a warrior
stoic & strong
Like your ancestors
Like your mother
A dreamer
She Looks to the clouds
Son, come lay with me
Let's look for animals in the sky
And make up stories..
Cause are a creator
You who from your first steps moved fast & furiously through the world
Don't go to fast
Don't grow too fast
Making your way in this world
Take heed to the signs
Because they won't always point you in the right direction
Listen
to the wisdom of your father
You have his eyes,
his smile
his drive
His want to know everything
But always remember
you don't know everything

It takes time to learn even the simple things
And you will learn
To listen,
To be easy,
take your time
To love yourself
To fall in love with a person who knows their worth lies between their ears and not between their legs
I pray you find a willing love
not one that will make you beg,
break your heart,
Please baby
don't break your leg
With your speed
I need you to slow down
Don't go too fast
Don't grow too fast
Cause all you want to do is play
And I want you to play
But first come give mommy a hug
I want to hold you in my arms like I hold you in my heart,
Forever.

frekles

her face shines against black night
cold air whips through curls
shy smiles
giggles
"you're so cute"
i say and i mean it
soft kisses say goodbye
not
see you later

01 09 12

listen closely children
and you shall hear a tale
listen closely children
listen to the wail


outside sits clear blue skies
brisk winter wind
whips against your face
as i sail through the afternoon
numb
cold
i came outside to feel comfortable
my heart was freezing me from the inside
outside the only place i feel comfortable
like myself
awake
alive
but here in this warm house we're going up in smoke
his fire
my ice
steam and smoke
smoke and mirrors of no reflection
metaphorical vampires
sucking each other dry

Dance of The eastern Sun

Come


let me guide you

follow the sway of my hips across color lines
to bliss

come

let me take you

take your heart's pain away

ease into your consciousness

the peace i hold inside

come

lets stand in hugs
and kisses

find harmony in scents
intake deep breaths
and clear those troubled thoughts.

come
come take my hand
lets you and i run away
to the horizon
never ending.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

My love is forcing me to leave
she said to me today
that nothing lasts forever
i best be on my way
those fields of dreams
are calling
calling out my name
they said to her I'm finished
finished
so go away
a far off land is calling my name
things will never be the same
then again they never are
always changing
shifting
theis change, she said was a gift
for me
but for me
it is agony
the extended absence
makes my heart weep
for her i'd do anything
this city that never sleeps

Ode' to my Love

My love is forcing me to leave
she said to me today
that nothing lasts forever
i best be on my way
those fields of dreams
are calling
calling out my name
they said to her I'm finished
I can no longer stay
i'll miss your darling twilight
the way the moonlight plays
on your fields of dreams
i once believed
i'd conquer her someday
but now i cannot say
i have to go away
maybe i'll be back someday
yes i will come back some day
promise me you'll stay the same?

Two Eggs, Two slices of Bread, & a cup of Orange Juice

$4
It.was all I had left to live off
But I gave it
Gladly
To family
To let her know I appreciate her
Let her know she is
Not taken for granted
That she is family
And as such
I gave her my last
All I had
So she knows she never has to ask
She knows
That if the tables were turned
I would gladly open my home
She knows
There its nothing off limits
No limitations to the love I offer
Any aids she needs
Its here
Anytime
She is in need.
Even if it means
That I dont eat
That day.

This Little Fault of Mine

When I was 3 years old I drowned in a pool
playing with my brother
he would take me to the deep end
and bring me back to the edge of the pool
where i'd reach in vain for him to return
one moment of ambition
inspired to the impossible
i attempted to swim before i was ready

to this day i find myself repeating the past
following my heart's desire to destruction

Saturday

it gets easier
or so I am told
To wake up alone
Not knowing
Love

She

she was once a dreamer
a dancer
she moved with the winds of change
evolving and twisting in sun's rays
speaking symphonic in melodic phrase
she brought the spring with her
the room reserves her jasmin scent
upon her exit
into 16 degrees
she took the spring with her

Haiku For You

hi
i just wanted
to say hello
now
turn around
and walk
away

7

laying in the darkness
it hit me hard
that 7 days is all i have left to live
7
his birthday
august on the 7th day
i
birthed my completion,
representation of perfection
this number 7
cyclical
a never ending end
because in
7 days we will begin again
until this cycles sees it's end
and we begin again
again
maybe in 7 days,
we'll start as friends
no matter how
this cipher ends

Not a Word

i haven't written a poem
in 2 days

not since i said
i miss you

have i written

a word

love

a word
i haven't said

a word

we

have not said

a word

i haven't written
in 2 days

not one word.

if

if only i could sleep in the night sky
i'd lay my body on a clould
float by
drift soundly into the land of dreams

Last Night

$3 to enter
strip down, stockings or less
I wanna see you naked
Night shirt and (red)panties
Happy birthday chris,
im psychic since I guessed right
straight to the dance floor when Micheal's on
Naked women on the walls
Pimp robes lined in cheatah
Smoking jacket for red leader 4
Art everywhere,
community
$2 shots of whisky
J's @thebar
Put a dolla in her titty if you like the service
Showtime!
they rock
We roll
Smile for the camera
Flashes flashes every where
Flash those below
ascending the stairs
Lines at the bathroom,
always lines
company passes the time
She's from sacremento,
They're from san francisco
Sydney in the house
retrieving friends is a 2 man job
Drunken walk of pride
Stop kicking things over
Seated jam circle/session
Live freestyle in the hallway
Send me the video
Dont disturb the neighbors
basement smoke &
mirrors the 80's
Or 90's maybe
Time to hit the road
Late night tacos
& waffle fries
Pass that once more
This couch is occupied
Slept like a baby
Last night.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

We left in tears
To arrive
To the same
It's a wonder how
We mirror each other
32 years
& 3000 miles apart.

Car ride with the Elderly

Nice to meet you..
How old is she?
Aaw.. Jusy cute as a button
And where did you live in new york?
Oh.. We lived in long island.
Manhattan was too much
and how old is she?
Just two?
Man she's big, that's good
Sure is a beautiful day today.
how's the weather back east?
I bet it's hell..
My husband was a fireman
Over twenty years.
And how old is she?
Oh she's so good
Hasn't said a word
So quiet she is
What do you buy at Sam's Club?
Thats a lot of toilet paper
Lasts a long time huh?
We should shop there honey
Did you have a good afternoon?
So well behaved
How old is she?

She stops my tears

Her tears
Happen spontaneously
Daily
Almost like a ritual
A random ritual of my causing
A reminder of my fault
I try to give her my strength
My shoulder
My heart accepts blame that my ego cannot deny
So I allow her to cry
Accept her guilt ridden "i love you"s
When she's caught doing wrong
As much as I hate it
I continue to let her go on
As she wants
As she needs
I allow her to lead me
Out of near insanity.
Because she is what I need
To remain strong.
To stay together
Together we walk hand in hand
We lay
He head in my shoulder
Nestled in the nook of my neck
I hold her like its the last day
Each night
Until she feels safe
And it is okay
For me to let go.

Catching Fireflies with Tongues

It is said that every kiss is a wish
But when
every wish made has its consequence
I shall never wish again
Not to say I will never kiss again
Just no longer will I close my eyes so tight
No longer will my hearts whisper
Take flight
The angels may pass
In silent delight
Bask in the evervesence
I dwell in a reality based in dream
I sing the lullabuy
Of futures unseen
With my eyes closed tight
I cast my net into the stream
Here on a dock
the night sky shines down on me
Listen to the wind sing
Watch the moon's glow
See a dream fade
Faster than a rainbow
Wish I may
Wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight
May it be my last
Off lips take flight
a lovers heart beats
Silent in sight

4 am in Vegas

I doze off for what seems to be a moment
But proves to be hours
to find her curled up in my lap
And i don't mind
At all